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16 February, 2011

Service With a Smile

No snappy introduction here, folks, This post is about blow jobs, and how to give ‘em good.

First off, the most important thing with giving a blow job is NOT the blow job itself. It's all in the attitude. Put yourself in a giving frame of mind. Desire is WAY sexier than obligation – You’ve gotta WANT to please your man. Also, if he doesn't respond well to your "servicing", ask him how he likes it and be willing and ready to change your technique. It's about him and his pleasure. Not you and your ego. "Service with a smile" - Your new secret weapon!

But friendly customer service aside, what is it exactly that you're dishing up? Gravy is just gravy without the meat and potatoes. So, without further ado, I humbly present to you my step-by-step guide to giving a fantastic blow job.

Before Getting Down to Business
You: Wash your hands, drink some water and apply chapstick. Optional: Tie your hair back. Him: Make sure he is clean and fresh "down there".

The Main Event
1) Yada yada yada...Once you've made your way down to his nether regions, lick up and down the length of his shaft. This is especially key if your man is "cut" and no longer has the natural sleeve bearing we all call foreskin. 
2) Put the head in your mouth. Apply light suction and flick the frenulum (or "v-spot" or "banjo string" - that little upside-down, v-shaped delta on the underside of the penis where the shaft and the head meet up) with your tongue. At the same time, make an "O" with your thumb and forefinger around his shaft and make a full down and up stroke.

3) Flick around the ridge under the head with your tongue. Lick up and down the shaft again if need be. Remember: LOTS of saliva is a good thing!

4) Repeat step 2, but this time, follow the downward stroke with your lips, taking the shaft deeper into your mouth, flicking the frenulum with your tongue at the top of the upward stroke. (The tongue flick is very important.)

5) Repeating the last part of step 4 is the basic mechanic of the blow job. Some like it soft & sensual, some like it fast & furious. Ask him. Listen to him. Please him.You may switch up the monotony by changing the pace, going back to step 2 and just sucking on the head while stroking the shaft with your hand, playing with the balls* or stimulating the prostate**.

*Playing with the balls: This involves an element of communication. Some scrota are very sensitive. Others aren't. Some like a good tug (ask first!!) while others prefer some soft cupping. You'll never go wrong with being gentle at first. Use phrases like: "Does that feel good? Tell me if I'm being too gentle..."

Try this:
Bring one ball into the mouth and suck on it lightly while stroking his shaft with one hand. Repeat with other ball. This is a great way to make eye contact. Hawt!

** Stimulating the prostate: There is little doubt that this gland - familiarly called the "male g-spot" or "p-spot" - is the holy grail of the male orgasm. It's also probably the most under-utilized sex organ among straight couples. However, I believe that significant strides have been made in liberating men to realize that sexual orientation stems from the gender one prefers to play with, and not from the specific games one likes to play. That being said, many guys, like a number of gals out there, are not comfortable with some knock-knock-knocking on Heaven's back door, so to speak. So definitely ask first. Make sure there are no surprises!

The prostate may be stimulated indirectly through external pressure applied to the perineum, or "taint" - that area between the scrotum and anus (This requires some trial and error and communication to find the sweet spot.), or directly by inserting a finger. Don't forget the lube for this one, and I highly recommend using a condom over your finger.

Try this: While he's lying on his back, legs up, slowly slip your covered, lubed up middle finger inside. With palms facing upward, you will find the prostate gland by making a soft "come hither" motion with your finger. You know you've hit it when 1) you've hit something, and 2) he moans in ecstasy. You may either continue with step 2, see how deep you can take his member into your mouth, or get him to stroke himself. When he's had enough, remember to slip your finger out as gently as you put it in. Commence blow job as before. 


The Little "Extras"
There are a few little things that you can do that are sure to go a long way. Try Intermittent eye contact, asking him to pull your hair or just hold it back, getting vocal ie: "I LOVE getting you all worked up!" or "Like it when I do that?" etc, and of course, every man's dream: the deep throat. Check out "Deep Throat Made Easy" on how to do just that.

The Grand Finale
Often, oral sex is just foreplay to penetrative sex. Sometimes though, the man is brought to climax during said blow job. When a man reaches climax, his testes (balls) pump semen (cum) through the shaft and out the hole in spurts. It doesn't all come out at once, and you can see and feel the pulsation. When your man is "coming", the head of the penis becomes very sensitive - time to stop stroking! During ejaculation, your options are to remove his penis from your mouth and direct his cum somewhere else (get creative), keep his penis in your mouth and swallow his cum (keeps it tidy and more intimate), or keep his penis in your mouth and spit his cum out after. Whatever you choose, don't make him feel lousy by exclaiming how much you are grossed out by cum. Remember: Service with a smile!

Try this: With your hand lightly around his shaft, try to match each orgasmic pulsation with a slight squeeze. This can be done with or without the head of his penis in your mouth. 


So there you have it, as succinct as I could have made it. If you're looking for other techniques, Dr. Sadie Allison's book "Tickle His Pickle" [the link to the book has a free excerpt!] is an incredible, easy-to-read, light-hearted, invaluable resource. It is available online or at most adult toy stores for under $20. I recommend  A Little More Interesting if you're in Calgary.

Happy Blowing!

~A


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